Theodore’s World Predictions For 2006

Nancy Pelosi will elope with Osama Bin Laden. They’ll divorce months later when she discovers that he is too “Pro America.”
Sean Penn will write a new book called “Little Sean and His Friend Abdul.” It will be the first pop up book where bits of Abdul get spread all over the room. Of course, it will become a huge hit. Sean will win an Oscar just for his interviews–but will be embarrassed to learn that the academy thought he was “playing retarded.”
Noam Chomsky will write a new book. It will have 200 pages of the same three sentences: Bush Lied. Screw America. America is Evil. It will become a cult classic.
Nancy Pelosi will marry Noam Chomsky but divorce him a short while later after discovering that he is too “Pro America.”
Cindy Sheehan will draw 10,000 people to a protest when she declares: “If Bush doesn’t withdraw our troops, I’ll set myself on fire.” Unfortunately, 9900 of the visitors will bring gasoline and matches.
Camp Casey visitors will mysteriously disappear due to some unknown substance called “Crawford Quicksand.”
Steven Speilberg inspired by the critical acclaim from his movie, ”Munich,” will make a movie depicting the plight of the poor 9/11 hijackers. He will then go on a campaign defending the hijackers’ families and their right to reclaim the hijackers’ frequent-flier miles.
Hollywood will launch a new film called ”Here’s Christianity.” It will feature three actors defecating on a crucifix for ninety minutes and will be nominated for six Golden Globes. No pork rinds will be served at the theatre for fear of offending Muslims. (side note by Wild Thing…..do any of you remember when there was a work of so called art that many of us wrote letters, made phone calls about that had a crucifix in a glass with urine in it? We were told it was art and I am not sure but nothing was done about getting rid of the so called art work)
After undergoing a lot of scrutiny, U.N. Secretary Kofi Annan will announce that he will forego his salary from the United Nations and live exclusively on bribes.
The New York Times will merge operations with Al Jazeera. Six months later, problems will emerge when the Times finds Al Jazeera to be too “Pro America.”
Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco will write a new book called “Governors Who Cry Too Much.”

Any you want to add to the list?