“It’s Bush’s Fault” by Colonel Bob Pappas, USMC, Retired

It’s Bush’s Fault
by Colonel Bob Pappas, USMC, Retired
Before beginning, in the last essay, titled “Useful Idiots, Freedom’s Enemy” I made a comparison between Alex Haley’s “Roots” to the larger context of U.S. Americans having a need to know and understand this Nation’s roots. A number of readers reminded me that Haley’s book, although portrayed as an authentic investigation was a work of fiction mixed with its own version of reality. They are right and I was wrong for not making that distinction clear and I appreciate having the issue called to my attention.
That noted, the following are a number of reflections and some logically founded conjecture and opinions about Obama’s “most transparent administration in history.” It is intended as both informative and entertaining even though some of the conjecture might well be accurate.

“Hope and Change!” “We need it because it’s Bush’s fault.” “Yes, we can!” “Rahm, call Blago for me, you know what to do. Right. Yes, I want Valerie for the Illinois U.S. Senate seat I vacated; just make sure I have deniability.” “Law, what law? Everybody makes deals like Sestak, Valerie and Romanoff;” golf, basketball, smoke.

Smoke, golf; trillion dollar stimulus, “needed because of Bush’s tax breaks for the rich;” smoke, golf, smoke, golf, golf, “Why not Valerie?” “He wants what? Cabinet appointment?! We’d better cool it Rahm.” Smoke, look pensive.
Four hundred billion omnibus spending bill, “necessary because it was Bush’s fault;” smoke, golf, smoke, golf, golf, golf, act cool.
W.A.T., otherwise known as the “World apology tour,” “all because of Bush’s go it alone policy;” golf, smoke, basketball, golf, smoke, golf, basketball, golf, golf, smoke; “Bush alienated the world.” Act humble. Smoke.
Air Force One over Manhattan for photo op, “the girls’ joyride has gone too far;” smoke, golf, smoke, “besides, it was Bush’s fault.” Act cool, golf.

“No more War on Terror there are only angry jihadists because we used to support Israel. We don’t want to offend Muslims, let’s call it ‘Overseas Contingency Operation;’” “the 9-11 attacks were Bush’s fault, the ‘green jobs’ Czar said the attacks were an inside job;” party, golf, party, sneak a smoke, golf, basketball, golf, party.

“Rahm, cram through universal health bill, begin raising taxes right away, hold off on benefits until 2014, raise taxes on the middle class; huh? What are you saying, I promised not to raise taxes?” “We have to raise taxes, our spending is unsustainable,” “we need another stimulus,” “we’re out of money.” “Very difficult choices ahead on deficits.” “We definitely need another stimulus.” “What? The North Koreans want how many trillions? That’s a great crisis. We can use it as an opportunity to push the Congress to pass ‘Cap and Trade’ so we can raise taxes some more to pay them. Yes, and to help with Obama care and even cover some of my other deficit spending; also, let’s put some strong arm on BP for more money.” Golf, party, smoke, basketball.

“By the way, Rahm, I want the power to pull the internet plug on anyone who opposes what I am doing to America.” “How are we doing at the Blago trial? What? That S.O.B. is doing what? Pointing fingers my direction? I thought I told him I wouldn’t stand for that!” This one must be Cheney’s fault. Golf, basketball, smoke, snort.

Increase National Debt Limit to 13 trillion dollars, “it’s Bush’s fault for giving tax breaks to the rich;” basketball, golf, smoke, party, golf.

“I need to clear my mind,” “that’s Bush’s fault too;” sneak a smoke, golf, golf, basketball, party, give media the slip; golf, party, swat a fly during interview, act cool; Declare the U.S. is not a Christian nation then declare that the U.S. is one of the largest Muslim nations in the world. Ignore Netanyahu but roll out the red carpet for Hamas; “Rahm get me four hundred million for Gaza to arm themselves against the Israeli aggressors, oh? You’re a Jew? I never noticed.” “Let’s see, whose fault is this one? What the hell, Bush used to be President, you pick which one, it’s Bushes’ fault;” party, golf, smoke, midnight basketball.

“Michelle, let’s take a ride in Air Force One to clear my mind.” “What do you mean, ‘where do you want to go, sir?’ Kenya of course, to visit my real relatives since I am a son of Africa, my roots are there, somewhere, or is it Hawaii, I forget.” “We have to have prior clearance? Don’t they know that I’m President of the United States, that the buck stops with me and I can do whatever I want?” “On our way, tell China that I want to meet to discuss their human rights violations. Pause. What I meant to say was, discuss our human rights violations in Arizona against illegal immigrants.” “What? I’ll have to wait? For what? Because Bill Clinton is at the World Cup? What’s that got to do with it?” Smoke, party, basketball, helo to Andrews A.F.B., snort some cocaine, smoke a joint, ah, relax. “Have you sent Churchill’s bust back to England yet?” “Be sure to include my latest speeches for the Queen, I know she’ll be impressed.”

Afghanistan going south, “that’s definitely Bush’s fault,” fire McChrystal: “McChrystal was a rightwing plot to embarrass me. What? McChrystal voted for me?” Golf, golf, party, golf, “the economy is on track,” “the loss of eight million jobs is permanent, pause, but we need more illegal immigrants;” “it’s Bush’s fault;” golf, golf, party, sneak smokes.
Hire Patreaus, fly to Florida to visit white sand beaches with cleanup workers bussed in for photo op; fly to Ohio for ten minute speech, “who cares about forcing workers to take a day off?” Impose onerous banking regulations; golf, basketball, sneak more smoke, golf.
Threaten to grant amnesty to illegal immigrants by Executive Order; sneak two smokes, party, golf, basketball.
Do nothing about open southern border for eighteen months; “Bush didn’t secure the border, why should I have too?” Refuse to meet with Arizona Governor until outcry becomes very loud; “Where is Bush when I need him to blame?” Golf, basketball, party, sneak three smokes.
Meet with Arizona Governor, promise twelve hundred troops, but do not plan to deliver, “Bush’s fault;” smoke, “The Gulf oil spill is right wing talk radio’s fault;” golf, smoke, basketball. Sue Arizona for its law that’s designed to defend itself. “We can’t have States defending themselves, who do they think they are?!” Hold the border open as hostage for “comprehensive immigration reform.” Sir, what is “comprehensive immigration reform?” “That’s granting amnesty to illegal immigrants who already in the country so that they will always vote Democrat.” “Senator, look, if I seal the border, you people won’t have a reason for comprehensive immigration reform, get it?” Golf, smoke a joint, golf, basketball.

“All the problems are Republicans,’ ‘tea baggers,’ Palin’s, and Blago’s fault. I need to clear my mind;” golf, golf, golf, smoke, smoke, basketball, smoke, golf, pause. “On second thought, they are Bush’s fault.”

“Hey! ‘Betray us,’ pause, I mean General Petraeus, you got us out of Afghanistan yet?” “What?! You just got there?!” “Wadda do you mean, you’re changing the rules of engagement so those ‘little people’ in uniform can defend themselves? Don’t you know I have the safety of Muslim terrorists, sorry, Jihadists and Taliban to be concerned about?” “Those people in uniform volunteered, so what’s their beef with risking their lives, and by the way, since they volunteered tell them to buy their own health and life insurance if they want coverage, oh, yeah, tax them the cost of their transportation to and from Afghanistan and Iraq?” Golf, smoke, basketball, snort, relax.

“Rahm, have you directed Daily Kos to remove the remarks about General “betray us” form our website now that I’ve made the brilliant move of appointing him to head up our cut and run policy from Afghanistan; gotta get that done before the next general election you know?”

“This oil spill thing, that was absolutely Dick Cheney’s fault, he planned and caused the blowout while he was still VP; What? We just finished inspecting that well and gave them a safety award? Then, it’s all BP’s fault, they must have colluded with Cheney and did it on purpose; they’re pissed because of the Churchill bust thing. Yes, I am well aware that they donated more to me than to all other candidates.” Smoke, party, basketball, golf.
“Put your boot on BP’s neck! Damn the Jones Act, we’re gonna kick some ass. Smoke, party, golf, basketball; “damn the Jones Act even more, we have to support our base: you know, Soros, Gore, Clinton, etc., SEIU, illegal immigrants, ACORN, ACLU, Abortionists, Gays, Lesbians, and Muslims; damn the wildlife, tourism, fishing industry and drilling industry, damn those bastards who want to make money, damn the dollar. In fact! God damn America!” pregnant pause, “Ooops!” Golf, smoke, snort, basketball, party.
Hey Rahm, tell the Republicans that if they don’t support my nomination of Kagan for the Supreme Court that I’ll direct MSNBC, CBS, CNN, and ABC label them racist, homophobe, misogynists!” “Be sure to contact Brzezinski, you know, the female on MSNBC’s Morning Joe, she’s been working with us all along.” “By the way, how are we coming in shutting down talk radio?” Golf, golf, smoke, basketball.

“Can’t you people see that we’re busy spreading the wealth around? You people need to quit your harping, just get out there and volunteer; it’s our turn, we have welfare recipients, SEIU, illegal immigrants, and tax cheats, communists, and socialists in my administration to support!”

But, sir, where’s the money to come from? There are no new jobs except for government census workers and fourteen thousand new IRS enforcement jobs, the private sector ones that are there are being taken by illegal immigrants and businesses are leaving faster than fleas on a dead rabbit. We are out of money; a hundred per cent taxes for a generation won’t pay the debt. What are you doing? Where’s the Hope and Change?! Oh, I see, “Bite me” said the economy is on track? But sir, I thought you said that?

“Ah, shut up! It’s all Bush’s faulty economic policies of tax breaks for the rich that caused all this!” Openly smoke, smile big, golf, party, basketball, and begin celebration of the destruction of the greatest economy the world has ever known! “What do you mean the American people don’t like what I’m doing? Do you think I care what the American people like or don’t like, want or don’t want!?” “I won the election, didn’t I?”

“Hey Blago! What the hell are you doing out there?” Smoke, party, basketball, golf, chin in air, look down nose, turn head to profile to look like Lenin, look off in distance; “Rahm, find a Carp Czar right after you find Blago Czar!” Golf, smoke, basketball, golf.
Semper Fidelis

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Wild Thing’s comment……..
I love it , the Col,. ia so good,. He hit so many things in this one.

….Thank you Mark for sending this to me.
Mark
3rd Mar.Div. 1st Battalion 9th Marine Regiment
1/9 Marines aka The Walking Dead
VN 66-67