‘Twas the week before Caucus

‘Twas the week before Caucus, and all through the state,
Not a creature was stirring, the blizzard won’t wait.
But conservatives were troubled by scary dreams,
That some of the players weren’t who they seemed.
The candidate’s finish seemed to be set,
But the events of ’03 some seemed to forget.
With Kerry in the polls at just four percent,
But out of Iowa with a victory he went.
“Fred’s not got a chance,” the pundits did chatter,
“If you think that he does, you’re mad as a hatter.”
These are the “experts” who got it all wrong,
When four years ago they sang their proud song.
They were so sure it would be Howard Dean,
Who’d take Iowa by storm,’cause he led by thirteen.
But Iowa voters made ’em eat their words,
When poor Mr. Dean finished no better than third.
This time it’s the Huckster who’s up in the lead,
And would have you think that it’s all a done deed.
But each time that the governor opens his mouth,
He says things that make his voters go south.
Mitt Romney is struck with a similar affliction,
He’s told tall tales that have proved to be fiction.
Poor Rudy has fallen almost out of sight,
For his political postions are not on the right.
On LA Times! On Politico’s Roger Simon!
On with the hit pieces! On with the lyin’!
It’ll do you no good! It won’t stop big Fred!
His ’94 victory turned their faces all red!
With many undecided and even more who might switch,
Predicting Iowa is really a b*tch.
Fred Thompson knows as he heads down the stretch,
There’s plenty of votes that he can still fetch.
So he’s off on a bus tour of the good Haweye State,
After winning hands down the most recent debate.
Mitt got Tancredo, but Fred got Tanc’s top guy,
Who was immediately campaigning for Fred on the fly.
And I heard Fred exclaim, as he stumped with Steve King,
“This thing ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings.”