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March 17, 2008
'Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!' - Happy St. Patrick's Day!
.
....A friend of mine, her name is Siobhan lives in Kerry, Ireland. She made this for me for today's St.Patrick's Day post.
....Some Irish jokes from Lynn, thank you Lynn.
Irish Coffee
An elderly Irish woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband's sex drive ...
"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.
"Not a chance," says Mrs. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin for a headache."
"No problem." replies the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee, he won't even taste it. Try it and then call me in a week to let me know how it worked out."
A week later, Mrs. Murphy calls the doctor and he inquired as to how things went. "Oh, faith and bejaysus and begorrah it was terrible, just terrible, doctor."
"What happened?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, with a gleam in his eye and with his pants bulging fiercely!!! He swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was terrible!"
"What was terrible?" said the doctor. "Was the sex not good?"
"Oh no, doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years, but I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again."
Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye." Shawn walked to his friend's bedside and kneels.
"Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do."
O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done."
"Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity."
O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"
Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
"S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?"
"Nothing," said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."
The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The Irishman replies, "Oh... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over
by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and
he's walking with a limp " What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he
must have had something in his hand."
" That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible
lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have
something in your hand?"
That I did," said Paddy.
"Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a
fight."
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
" Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
I hope you all have a fun St. Patrick's Day. And to those that are Irish thank you for the music, the humor and the hearts uplifting others in your joy. A toast to William F.Buckley, he was Irish and will be missed.
God bless our Troops and their families. We are all in our thoughts today as everyday.
~ Wild Thing
Here are a couple of songs for today:
Celtic Woman - Danny Boy
This is a perfect rebel song......
luke kelly Rising Of The Moon
The Dubliners - Molly Malone
This is the fight from the movie "The Quiet Man "
Posted by Wild Thing at March 17, 2008 02:48 AM
Comments
Nick, do GOOD girls wear GREEN? WOW! As for the Irish... love that 'Blazing Saddles' movie where, at the end, when they were building Rock Ridge, the town crier yelled, "...OK, we'll keep the N*****S and CH**KS....but we don't want the IRISH!!!"
Posted by: darthcrUSAderworldtour07 at March 17, 2008 04:40 AM
Oh to see the Mountains of Mourne where they meet the Atlantic Ocean or visit the Aryn Islands off the coast or visit a pub in Dublin or County Down. Some day my hubby and I will go. I am a Catholic girl from Galway--he is a protestant boy from Londonderry. His cousin (still in Ireland) wondered how a Catholic girl and a Protestant boy got together in the first place. He thought it was pretty funny.) I also have the Spanish influence, whereas he does not.
This is our holiday! We love it!
Posted by: Lynn at March 17, 2008 05:03 AM
Oh, my goodness!! NICE graphics...! Good job, Siobhan.
Blessed Day, Everyone. My Father, who is Jewish, says that on St. Patricks Day, everone is Irish.
Oh, by the way...my Irish wife (McPhee Clan) has red hair...I'm on my way to Victoria's Secret to get some green stockings, like the graphic.
Posted by: Steve, Green Machine at March 17, 2008 09:23 AM
Love the graphic! The jokes are funny and the music is great. Thanks WT for the nice St Patrick's Day break from the serious.
Posted by: TomR at March 17, 2008 01:18 PM
Darth yes good girls wear green. haha
Posted by: Wild Thing at March 17, 2008 11:24 PM
Lynn that is wonderful, I hope so much you get to go one day. Gosh that would be so awesome.
Posted by: Wild Thing at March 17, 2008 11:25 PM
Steve, Green Machine, what a wonderful idea. heh heh
Your Father is right, today everyone is Irish.
Posted by: Wild Thing at March 17, 2008 11:27 PM
Tom, so glad you like it and thank you so much.
Posted by: Wild Thing at March 17, 2008 11:30 PM
